AI... This One Is For You

Six days ago the surfing world... scratch that, the world in general lost a truly amazing individual. Andy Irons (hereinafter known as AI) passed away at the age of 32. A king among men, AI died alone in an airport hotel room thousands of miles away from his beloved Kauai, his family that includes an equally talented brother and his wife who is eight months pregnant with their first child, and of course the impossibly perfect Hanalei North Shore waves. I met him in South Africa. He had an ability to make everyone around him feel special. He spoke to you like you were the only one in the room even when there were thousands of people surrounding you. On land he seemed gentle and unassuming, but in the water he was merciless- in the greatest kind of way. To watch him surf was to watch someone battle through an intensely spiritual exorcism of sorts. A dynamic and refreshingly honest individual, AI openly admitted to having dealt with inner demons of epic proportions. In putting the competition jersey back on afters years away from the tour these "demons" were harnessed and translated into pure, unadulterated poetry in the water. I may sound over-dramatic but I've seen him surf. I've witnessed it first hand. It's spectacular. It's everything I wish my surfing could be. It's everything my surfing will never be. And it's interesting because I'm ok with that. I'm fine with the fact that my relationship with the sport will never be like the one he had. To surf the way AI did would require such an intense level of vulnerability (and, well, ability for that matter) and love. I'm not sure I have the capacity to love anything -or anyone- as much as AI loved surfing. And I know for a fact that I'm not courageous enough to put myself in such a vulnerable position the way he did every time he paddled out. Not a literal vulnerability, but vulnerable in the sense that with every session came a head on collision with painful realities followed by an opportunity to heal. That's heavier than pipe in February. And just like pipe in February, that's too heavy for me.

AI once said that he surfs because every time he comes in he's a better person. I'd like to say that I surf because every time I saw AI surf, I felt like a better person.

Rest in Peace.